If you were alive and kicking in the last 24 months, then you probably know that the midterm elections were held this week in the US. The only way you wouldn’t be aware of this is if your head was both pinned under a very large rock in the desert and you were away from any form of media., including, but not limited to, newspapers, television, radio, mailboxes, roadways, helicopters, etc., etc. Even then, I bet some candidate somewhere would have found you and stuffed a piece of campaign mail in your mailbox, because politicians are tree killers.
I voted early this year so as to avoid the horrendously lengthy lines that I knew would queue on election day and to avoid my vote not counting since I’d be voting absentee. When I went to vote, I didn’t have my voter registration card, so I used my drivers license instead. When I checked in, the precinct volunteer wasn’t able to find me on the Harris County rolls. She was elderly (by which I mean 95) and probably shouldn’t have been assigned to working the only laptop on site, anyway, but she didn’t know what to do with me and redirected me to the guy that was overseeing the voting at that location.
He looked me up and asked me if I’d had my federal ballot in the last election mailed to me and I assured him that, yes, I had voted absentee via a mail-in ballot because I was living in Canada. So he said “so you were living overseas?” to which I replied “well, I was living in Canada”. Long pause. He stared at me and said “right, so you were living overseas”. Longer pause. I stared right back and, in the sweetest voice I could muster said, “Well, I guess I lived overseas if you consider Lake Ontario an ocean”. Radio silence.
I don’t know if he got the point, but I got to exercise my right and he made me fill out some “Request to Cancel Federal Post Card Application” form in triplicate (!) afterward. Because, you know, I might have been trying to stuff the ballot box and you’re not really allowed to vote twice, at least not in Texas.